Finding Your Jung Myers-Briggs Personality Type

To fulfill the most of your potential, I think that it is essential to know your personality type. To understand myself in the past, I have read in depth horoscopes (western, Chinese, Vedic), but none have really placed me as a person. While there have been some things that are accurate or in the way that some may see me, they never described me. I also looked at my parents, siblings and grandparents, and while we have some similarities as some personality traits are inherited and behavior is learned, I still felt very different in many ways.

I have taken several personality tests over the years, and except for a few occassions where I placed as an INTP, I have placed as an INTJ over 50 times over the last 5 years. I feel that the description fits me quite well, except that I have learned to be more compassionate due to my upbringing and because because our society values it. I don't always do what society values, but I believe that compassion is a good quality to have.

Here are my specific and most recent scores. They vary from time to time in terms of percentage, but not in extreme variations.

Here is the link to the personality test. I have taken several others, but I feel that the questions in this one are the most clear and comprehensive. I will post the links to the other test at the bottom of this post as well.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

Out of curiosity, I have asked a few friends who have taken it to share their results with me, and their results have pegged them very well, and allowed me a greater understanding of them as well.

Below is a description of my type, INTJ.

INTJ In-Depth Personality Description

Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
(Introverted Intuition with Extraverted Thinking)

Source: http://www.personalitypage.com/INTJ.html

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The Scientist

As an INTJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via your intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things rationally and logically. INTJs live in the world of ideas and strategic planning. They value intelligence, knowledge, and competence, and typically have high standards in these regards, which they continuously strive to fulfill. To a somewhat lesser extent, they have similar expectations of others.

With Introverted Intuition dominating their personality, INTJs focus their energy on observing the world, and generating ideas and possibilities. Their mind constantly gathers information and makes associations about it. They are tremendously insightful and usually are very quick to understand new ideas. However, their primary interest is not understanding a concept, but rather applying that concept in a useful way. Unlike the INTP, they do not follow an idea as far as they possibly can, seeking only to understand it fully. INTJs are driven to come to conclusions about ideas. Their need for closure and organization usually requires that they take some action. 

INTJ's tremendous value and need for systems and organization, combined with their natural insightfulness, makes them excellent scientists. An INTJ scientist gives a gift to society by putting their ideas into a useful form for others to follow. It is not easy for the INTJ to express their internal images, insights, and abstractions. The internal form of the INTJ's thoughts and concepts is highly individualized, and is not readily translatable into a form that others will understand. However, the INTJ is driven to translate their ideas into a plan or system that is usually readily explainable, rather than to do a direct translation of their thoughts. They usually don't see the value of a direct transaction, and will also have difficulty expressing their ideas, which are non-linear. However, their extreme respect of knowledge and intelligence will motivate them to explain themselves to another person who they feel is deserving of the effort.

INTJs are natural leaders, although they usually choose to remain in the background until they see a real need to take over the lead. When they are in leadership roles, they are quite effective, because they are able to objectively see the reality of a situation, and are adaptable enough to change things which aren't working well. They are the supreme strategists - always scanning available ideas and concepts and weighing them against their current strategy, to plan for every conceivable contingency.

INTJs spend a lot of time inside their own minds, and may have little interest in the other people's thoughts or feelings. Unless their Feeling side is developed, they may have problems giving other people the level of intimacy that is needed. Unless their Sensing side is developed, they may have a tendency to ignore details which are necessary for implementing their ideas.

The INTJ's interest in dealing with the world is to make decisions, express judgments, and put everything that they encounter into an understandable and rational system. Consequently, they are quick to express judgments. Often they have very evolved intuitions, and are convinced that they are right about things. Unless they complement their intuitive understanding with a well-developed ability to express their insights, they may find themselves frequently misunderstood. In these cases, INTJs tend to blame misunderstandings on the limitations of the other party, rather than on their own difficulty in expressing themselves. This tendency may cause the INTJ to dismiss others input too quickly, and to become generally arrogant and elitist.

INTJs are ambitious, self-confident, deliberate, long-range thinkers. Many INTJs end up in engineering or scientific pursuits, although some find enough challenge within the business world in areas which involve organizing and strategic planning. They dislike messiness and inefficiency, and anything that is muddled or unclear. They value clarity and efficiency, and will put enormous amounts of energy and time into consolidating their insights into structured patterns.

Other people may have a difficult time understanding an INTJ. They may see them as aloof and reserved. Indeed, the INTJ is not overly demonstrative of their affections, and is likely to not give as much praise or positive support as others may need or desire. That doesn't mean that he or she doesn't truly have affection or regard for others, they simply do not typically feel the need to express it. Others may falsely perceive the INTJ as being rigid and set in their ways. Nothing could be further from the truth, because the INTJ is committed to always finding the objective best strategy to implement their ideas. The INTJ is usually quite open to hearing an alternative way of doing something.

When under a great deal of stress, the INTJ may become obsessed with mindless repetitive, Sensate activities, such as over-drinking. They may also tend to become absorbed with minutia and details that they would not normally consider important to their overall goal.

INTJs need to remember to express themselves sufficiently, so as to avoid difficulties with people misunderstandings. In the absence of properly developing their communication abilities, they may become abrupt and short with people, and isolationists. 

INTJs have a tremendous amount of ability to accomplish great things. They have insight into the Big Picture, and are driven to synthesize their concepts into solid plans of action. Their reasoning skills gives them the means to accomplish that. INTJs are most always highly competent people, and will not have a problem meeting their career or education goals. They have the capability to make great strides in these arenas. On a personal level, the INTJ who practices tolerances and puts effort into effectively communicating their insights to others has everything in his or her power to lead a rich and rewarding life. 

Jungian functional preference ordering:
Dominant: Introverted Intuition
Auxilliary: Extraverted Thinking
Tertiary: Introverted Feeling
Inferior: Extraverted Sensing

Other INTJ Portrait Descriptions:

http://www.keirsey.com/4temps/mastermind.asp

http://www.mypersonality.info/personality-types/intj/

http://www.santafecoach.com/Ptest/intj.htm

 Other Jung Myers-Briggs Based Tests

http://similarminds.com/jung.html

http://www.better-mind.com/component/option,com_jumi/Itemid,311/fileid,8/

Psychological Implications of Clutter

INTJs need organization and structure to function optimaly. Our cousins INTP are quite all right and at ease with a little clutter, but it sharply hinders our productivity and bothers us immensely.

I can only truly focus when my desk is absolutely clear, and my home is organized. I am a very visual person and being an INTJ, disorder drives me crazy and is quite distracting and draining. I am very strict about cleaning my house weekly, and I never fail on sweeping and mopping as I have major dust allergies. However, sometimes when I am not not feeling well for a week or two or if I fall behind on organizing and cleaning surfaces, the house can get a bit cluttered. As I am very perfectionist about organization (very INTJ), I don't like to do it unless I have the time to make it as best to my standards. I don't always have the time, so I have gotten overwhelmed at times or just put it off, and it then becomes a vicious cycle of clutter and lack of productivity. I have reorganized every week or two, but reorganizing is not enough because the clutter returns. At first, I thought it is because I don’t have enough time to clean as before and that I don’t put things in their rightful places because I am sometimes in a rush. One solution I have realized from looking back on my life is to try to de-clutter and lessen my possessions as it is impossible to organize and clean too many items.

Many times we keep items because it gives us a sense of security. A guest on Oprah noted that many people keep things and develop clutter because they fear the future, or for other psychological reasons. I am a not a compulsive hoarder, it would be advisable that readers take a look at this link if they have a problem with clutter and hoarding.

We can all relate to some of these items in some manner, but the most important thing is to not let yourself slip too much if you do slip. I notice that I always buy stuff or keep stuff to alleviate boredom and take my mind off stress or insecurity about the future. I started  buying items after I got a job because I was not able to without feeling guilty to when I was not working,  and I indulged now that I got a job.

I watched a movie called Mongul about the life of Ghengis Khan, and the rusticness and nomadicness of life back then really appealed to me, though not the violence. It always makes me appreciate my life, and make me feel happiess when I live as simply and with as few items as possible. Having too many items lures us into a false sense of security especially when you may feel you do not have control in your life in some areas, or are unsatisfied in some areas. However, it actually does not alleviate those feelings, but adds  more fuel to it because many possessions make you loose your control of what is important to you as you are bombarded with so many items. It also takes away from your time as you have to care for, clean and some even subconciously worry about loosing stuff. Make sure that security is in yourself and your life, not in your possessions.

Alleviating Depression - Focus on What You Enjoy & True Friends

For those who are in a down mood or struggle from depression, I found it more helpful to learn about how to be happier rather that to learn more about depression. I have read quite a bit of literature on depression, suffering from moderate depression (dysthymia) in the past. There were some days where no self talk made me better as an INTJ, I turn every idea around and analyze it, so saw holes in the self talk. 

So, I find that the best way for getting though a dark day or mood is by doing things that I truly enjoy (the brilliant advice of my husband), such as reading some literature, writing a poem or story, sewing or seeing a friend.  What you enjoy may vary, of course. On days that I am not at my lowest, if I feel a little drained, I try to focus on things that make me less sad. While, those with depression will never be as  happy as the average person and those major depression may need both medication and therapy from a professional, there are still things we can do on a regular basis to ease moderate dark feelings or moods. I have accomplished some of my best creative projects in those dark moods, so I do not hate them and I embrace the dark and light sides of life in so many ways. Dark moods may be something that analytical and refelctive people like INTJs may encounter more that others. However, it is important to view it from a a place of power, where you deal with it, and do not let it debilitate you. 

On this note, here is a great video by Nobel laureate, Daniel Kahneman, on the subject of happiness that you may find useful.  

One thing that is very important in my own experience if you have depression is to surround yourself with people who are positive and caring. I used to have a good number of friends, but some of them were very critical, competitive and negative. I can appreciate intellectual debate any day, but I find personal attacks and criticism for no reason to be done only by insecure or self absorbed people. So, now I choose to maintain only a few close friendships and I am much happier after seeing them once a month, than when I saw my many friends a few times a week. 

Kahneman also found that based on a survey of 600,000 Americans that happiness corresponds to if you  "spend time with people you like". He said: “Below 60,000 dollars a year, people are unhappy, and they get progressively unhappier the poorer they get. Above that, we get an absolutely flat line. I mean I’ve rarely seen lines so flat."

 

INTJ Friendships and INTJ Females

INTJ Women - Not Your Typical Females

INTJ women are said to be very rare. INTJs make up 2-3% of the population according to most reputable personality surveys and experts. Of that 3%, only .5% to 1% are female. A few studies even say that only .3% of INTJs are female. Whatever the actual figure, that means that only .3 to 1% of the general population are INTJ females. That is very rare indeed.

Understandably after seeing that statistic, a lot of people have a hard time figuring out INTJ women as most of them are not into the usual girly stuff as much as other women. This is not to say that they are all tomboys, but they are more interested in science, technology, literature and are more bookish and logical can most females. For many INTJs, fashion is just for utility, such as to be appropriate for their given activity. This does not mean that INTJ don't like to look nice or feminine, but even when they show an interest in fashion, it is not obsessive, but is for form and function - i.e. for the purpose of looking neat, presentable and appropriate for the situation. I can relate to this as I didn't care much for fashion for most of my life, and actually dressed more goth (i.e. mostly black) in high school and college. I saw fashion as just a way to be myself, and have never followed fashion trends. I experimented with fashion for a short period in my life because people told me that I needed to project a certain image for my career. So, I purchased a lot of clothing, even in red and blue, but later, this got boring for me, as I thought it was illogical and trite if people judged me by the colors or brands of clothing I was wearing, rather than my merit. Now, I am back to mainly black clothing (though I do like red, but use it for accessories) because of it's utility and it's mystery. Ironically, I read in an INTJ forum once that most INTJs actually prefer black clothing.

One thing that is sure is that you will rarely find INTJ women enjoying shopping as if it was a sport or bonding experience, which most women do. I personally get utterly bored if shopping becomes the main activity that a friend prefers to do (although I make an exception for book shopping or antique stores for their novelty). I also get utterly annoyed when a friend insists on "dressing to the nines" or putting on a mask-ful of makeup for a simple lunch or dinner date with just the two of us. I am much more interested in what a friend has to say than what they are wearing. I used to have friends like that, and while I don't dislike them, I found these activities and behavior trite. Consequently, the few people that I consider my close friends after all these years are similar to me in this way.

Even deeper than fashion, INTJ women have a hard time relating to other females with their obsession over celebrities, shopping and relationship. This is not to say that they are not caring people, but they would much rather meet friends to discuss philosophy, physics or literature than what shoe they bought or which crush they have. In my own life, I have turned down many invitations of dinner or drinks with acquaintances to read a novel or watch a History Channel special. I am socially adept, but I prefer solitary activities or the company of a few close friends who share my interests.

In terms of expression of emotions, INTJ women sometimes are misunderstood. They actually feel deeply, but they are not as expressive. INTJ women may go weeks or even a few months without calling or hanging out with a friend, but care deeply about that friend. Personally, if a friend doesn't call me for a few weeks, as long as I know that they are doing all right, I don't hold it against them, although I will sometimes miss their company and intellectual stimulation. However, most women and men feel slighted when a friend does not show attention. I have made an effort over the years to be more consistent in things like that as social codes seem to require that consistency. So, I try to see my 5 close friends (who have gone through a rigorous process and analysis over the years in my mind for me to consider them close friends and who have demonstrated mutual interest and effort) every few weeks, or say something encouraging to them via email or Facebook show I am thinking of them. I will be honest and say that sentimental words whether said online or in person with friends still leave me feeling a bit uncomfortable, though. I certainly feel them and mean them, but I feel awkward expressing them.

INTJ Friendships

 Before I truly understood my type, I felt an uneasiness with myself. From as far as I could remember as a child, I was a bit of a loner with only 3 friends, whom I only hung out with once in a week. In Junior High, I spent more time with 2 close friends, who I am still very close with as we have many similar interests. Being a loner never bothered me and I was quite happy with solitary activities and my few close friends. However, in high school, I started to feel uneasy because the Western ideal is to praise popular or extroverted teens. I bounced from one group in the three years I was there (I finished high school a year early), my longest stay with few regular kids and a few punk/goth kids, but all these friendships faded after high school as I didn't have much in common with them as did my friendships in college, where I had quite a few friends. I continued to hang out with many friends after college, but while they were nice people, I felt little fulfillment from the friendships because I had little in common in terms of interests and personality. So, I started just hanging out with a few friends that I really relate to, and I couldn't be happier. As an INTJ, I can say from experience that it is true when profiles of us say that we would much rather have 3 very deep friendships, than 10 surface ones.

To be frank, I understand the value of friendship, but I really enjoy my own company. The world says that one should have a lot of friends and a large support network, but that just does not work for INTJs. We get bored very easily, and need very intellectual friends who would are not afraid to talk about serious matters. I used to force myself to see friends so they would not think that I didn't care, but now, I am very honest with friends and I see them every now and them, (unless they need me very badly, in which case I am reliable). True friends accept you as you are as long as you are respectful.

Friendship Advice for INTJS 

 So, to INTJs, be they male or female, I encourage you to first accept that there is nothing wrong with you to prefer solitary activities as long as it is not pathological (such as due to extreme depression). Secondly, I encourage you to seek friendships based on intellect, common interests, personality, values and mutual understanding. Do not hang out or have friends just to kill time or because 90% of the world thinks it should be so. Thirdly, make an effort to reach out to friends to hang out with them every now and then. I will confess that I have a loose schedule of when to see my friends. I know- it's very INTJ, to plan that. Fourthly, don't expect friends to understand you completely, but they must accept you if you are true friends, and you must accept them (respect debate is all right). INTJs are only 3% of the population, so you can't expect most people to understand you. It just means that you are different, but different is not bad. As you further yourself, your interests and your growth as a person, a few amazing friends will also come your way.

Letting go of Negativity & Criticism for Growth

I have been in a bit of a rut the last few weeks, and I cannot focus on work or studying. This is difficult for me as I work from home and study at home. My work does not pay very well, and is based on an hourly rate, so distractions and not being able to focus for hours means a loss in my pay. As for the studying, I have to take 2 GRE exams (general and subject) in the next few months, so I really do not have the luxury of loosing time.

Yet, when at home, I get distracted with reorganizing my possessions, cleaning the house, and going on the internet for hours. There were many times in my life when my focus was superb. I have been thinking about those times, and what facilitated that focus. I am an HSP (highly sensitive person), so I am affected by excessive sensory stimulation. However, since I do not have to deal with the stress of a micromanaging or domineering boss as before, my environment in terms of people is not the issue. However, I have worked out of a hotel for a few days every few weeks when visiting my husband when he is away for work, and my focus has been a lot better. I do get sidetracked and watch the history channel at times as I do not have cable at home, but overall, I am not as distracted and pull myself back after wasting time for a certain interval.

Looking back at my entire life and at the times when I was able to focus and also reflecting on why I am able to focus better away from home, I realize that my possessions and worrying about the well being of others seriously drain my energy. There is such a thing as doing too much of both. This morning, in the hotel, I started thinking about the several bins of clothing, shoes and bags that I have to go through as I am trying to weed out my clothing to have a more minimalist inventory. It brought me down so much that I unconsciously started surfing the web for a few hours to not think about it. Yesterday, I began to think about how needy some people in my life are for self assurance and for me to pick them up. This also weighed down on me and drained my energy as I realized after years of positive talk to them, only a person can change their own happiness, and it is selfish to ask others to do that. Although I am a caring person, I am also an INTJ, and I show care and love in different ways. However, what makes it hard to show care to these people as they have been very critical of me as a person, and also of me not showing enough even when I am trying. So, being that they are somewhat negative people and with their past history of being critical, I often feel guilty and drained when thinking about or trying to show care for them. This has affected my focus and my self esteem over the years because I feel that no matter what I do, it is not enough for them, and they do not accept me as I am.

I am certainly not an unfeeling person, and show care to my husband and 4 close friends often enough, but these people are positive or at least show me care in return. Very lopsided or one sided relationships where one is doing most of the giving or when demands are placed upon one who is not of the ability to fulfill them are draining and bad for the psyche. So, despite my guilty feelings, I have decided to limit contact with those people until I am at a healthier place psychologically to do so. I have spent my whole life in guilt in wanting to take care of myself first and have given a lot of my time and care that I did not have to extra to give due to it. However, after seeing a psychologist who noticed this pattern, and who told me that I had a right to care for myself too, I am trying to become healthier and raise my self esteem that has been broken directly and indirectly by negative people and many of emotional and verbal abuse.

When we are able to let go of the pain of the past, and build our self esteem and ourselves again, then we will be able to give. However, we cannot cover the pain with a false sheet of trying to be a good person and being a martyr for those we love. Otherwise, it only builds resentment that resurfaces later and actually taints the love or care that we feel for others. I am a private person, so I don't reveal things about myself such as I have above to most people. However, I do hope that others who have gone through verbal and emotional abuse that has affected their self esteem and sense of self worth would be brave enough to love themselves first before trying to love others.

Achieving Goals starts with Small Feats of Discipline

It has been difficult for me to balance working  and studying with the multitude of distractions presented by doing these things from home.

Let me preface the urgency of my situation. I have taken a significant pay cut and am only working part time in order to be able to study and ace the GRE. There is a lot at stake as my husband is paying most of the rent now, and it causes financial strain on him and guilt within myself because I want to contribute more. So, I am certainly not a typical person wanting to go to grad school just for kicks or because I just finished college and don't know what to do nor do I have all the time in the world or my parents supporting me financially. In fact, I have a$40,000 loan that I need to pay back, plus current utility bills (at least $300/mo in NY), my transportation and personal expenses.

However, despite this urgency, I have had an incredibly difficult time in the last 6 months trying to balance my work and study. Last year, I was even off for most of the year, studying for the LSAT, and I did not utilize the time effectively. I scored high on the prep-test (168) after only actually studying for 2 and a half months for 2 hours, 3 days a week. Still, I did not feel a sense of accomplishment because most of the week, I was reorganizing my possessions, going out with friends or reading online. I decided not to continue with the LSAT because after having a talk with my husband and a few professors, plus my experience in law, I realized that the loan of law school would be $186,000 minimum and I really wanted to teach, not be confined to practicing as a corporate lawyer. However, I would not be able to teach until I had experience in a firm for 8-10 years, and that is the requirement and also to pay off the loans.

Since I changed my focus to my real passion that I have had since I was 6 (academia, language, learning, teaching, writing, reading), but which seemed impractical as it does not pay a lot, I have felt a lot more motivation and joy when I actually study.  The LSAT was boring and a chore for me. However, despite enjoying studying for the GRE, I have not been able to study a lot or consistently because I have been reading minimalist fashion and design blogs online, reading novels, watching the History and Travel channel and reorganizing and DE-cluterring at a very slow pace, and catching up on work after procrastination on these things. I thought that perhaps my distraction was my home as it is in a state of disarray as I have brought everything out of storage in an effort to de-clutter and reduce my possessions a great deal. However, progress with that has been slow as I have indecision about discarding many things as I am not making a lot of money, and beause I feel guilty to be wasting my time de-cluttering when I should be studying or working.

On some weeks, I have decided to do my work from the hotel where my husband is staying for a temporary assignment, but I am still laden with the distractions of the internet and TV.

So, today, I decide to do a little experiment. After breakfast, I decided to do some studying in the lobby of the hotel with just my textbook and my cell phone, which has a dictionary program that I needed to use. I used to think that being around people distracted me, but I discovered that it was noise. I actually was able to focus and study intensely despite a few staff around. I did start getting distracted when some more staff came and they started getting chatty. However, even with the noise, I was able to focus more than when in the hotel room. In the hotel room, I do not have a lot of stuff, so I reliaze that it is not my possesions at home that prevent me from studying, although I want to get rid of at least half of them. My conclusion is that my biggest distractor in work and in studying is my computer due to the internet and the television.

I felt an increible boost of self confidence when I realized this and after studying for just an hour and a half. I had begun to think that perhaps I had ADD or just was not as smart or able to concentrate as I was able to in the past. I also realized that by getting a small goal accomplished through discipline, I felt more of an urge to reduce my time on the internet or watching TV, and I also felt a freedom from possesions and a desire and courage in place of the fear to reduce my possesions. This realization came as I felt so much more joy and esteem from studying and learning than I did from watching TV, being on the internet or from any of my possesions. I felt the freedom and hope that I had to succeed as I had when I was younger. I also realized that my depression has been affected from not pursing and working on my passion for a career. I have felt a shadow of myself for the last 10 years while I have been in law as I did my job well, but I kept leaving jobs as the environment was too harsh, money oriented and not intellectually stimulating and intellectually challenging for me. I felt like a failure to have the capacity and skill to do a job, but not being able to sustain emotionally in the environment. I also felt like a failure to have spent so much time trying to make it work and not going after what I really want. Since I made a decision to switch fields, I have felt a weight lift. However, only today, when I have engaged in my passion of learning have I seen the light at the end of the tunnel.

I know I have spent a lot of time describing my experience, and not a lot giving advice, but what I can sum up from this is that it is so important to challenge your habits and ways of thinking when you are trying to find your passion or make a change in your life. Try going without the internet and TV for a day and do something you really enjoy (unless it is web maintenance or something having to do with broadcasting or film). Taking small steps outside our comfort zone is the only way to experience your true, authentic self.

INTJs & Overanalysis - A Few Helpful Tips

One reader recently voiced the frustration experienced from over-analysis and perfectionism, which are two INTJ qualities than can be debilitating if taken too far. Here is the original comment to my post titled INTJs Love a Challenge, but Not for Ego. My analysis (no pun intended) and a few tips to cope with this are below.

 

Well... I know it feels good trying to keep with our high standards (sometimes excessive that we hardly achieve them).

But speaking about ego, I think I'm experiencing what people refer as ego diffusion... People say that INTJ take thorough and consider multiple aspects before making their decision. And I think I take too much of them... It's like I'm overwhelming with tons of perspective from different sources & aspects. I, then conclude that everything is just relative; there is nothing absolute. That kind of thought leads me to horrible performance of my life, and suddenly I feel like I don't have any worthy goal... I lost my will to achieve my own standards. I know it's freaking pathetic & useless thought, but I just can't get rid of it. It's been 2-3 years and I'm still drowning into such subconscious thoughts.

Do you have any suggestion about how I can kill or control of this? Seriously, I really want to stop thinking, stop analyzing things, stop planning, then enjoy and live my life... 

Understanding INTJs Natural Inclination to Overanalyze

I understand the frustration of this reader as I have had many periods of inertia due to over-analysis in the past few years myself.

The good news is the ability to analyze things in different ways is one of the best qualities of INTJs it is what makes them open minded and visionary. However, as you and I have both experienced, INTJs have an almost obsessive quality of gathering and analyzing information and issues. This can lead to procrastination and loss of self esteem (ego diffusion). The reason for this is because while our close relatives, INTP also like to gather information, they like to gather information and look at issues for the sake of just learning. While we, INTJS love to learn, we are also pragmatic systems people in that we gather and analyze to make decisions, create solutions and applications. Thefore, we require closure. I have found myself analuzing issues and gathering information for days, weeks and even months. While on one hand I see this as increasing knowledge, it does leave me feeling a loss of self esteem because I have nothing concrete to show for it. Herein lies that need for closure and application.

It is interesting that you write this comment to me now, as I have started to make small behavioral changes in my life in the past few weeks to combat this inertia and loss of self esteem. I have found that since as a true and extreme INTJ I analyze everything down to my toothpaste and when choosing to donate an item of clothing, I need to put limitiations on what I focus my mental energy on. Although I am sure we have both tried to, the truth is that it is virtually impossble to focus your mental energy on every issue. It is especially hard for INTJs are we are perfectionists and cannot rest until an issue or activity has been thoroughly analyzed or pefected. However, trying to apply these high standards to a numberous amount of issues and activities just leads to your mental focus being streched thin, and you not being able to truly accomplish anything.


 So, I employed a few tactics (below) that may help you as well.

Some Possible Solutions

• I made a list (INTJs love lists, don't we) of things in my life that I have been focusing my mental energy on. 

• Then I made another list of goals that I want to achieve in the next 5 years.

• I then streamlined my 5 year goals to just 3 goals.

• Lastly, I looked at the activities on my first list and decided what were aiding my goals and what weren't. I have decided to cut out or cute down on the ones that do not. 

• If your issue is analyzing your thoughts, which I also struggle with at times, I would recommend that you do meditation.  Meditation may be difficult for you at first as we have active brains, and it is hard to slow down or ignore the thoughts as meditation requires. However, mindfulness meditation is a bit easier to do as you focus on your body and your breath. It also helps you to live in and focus on the moment, which can help aid in releasing your active thoughts for a few minutes, so they are not constant and making you feel neurotic or stressed.

• If meditation is difficult, yoga is a great alternative because while you are doing poses, you are forced to focus on what you are doing and not to analyze it or do anything else. Otherwise, you will fall off the pose. It forces you to be present and to release your analyzing, which has been very good for me. I don't do yoga as much as I should with my overactive mind, but whenever I am feeling especially stressed or tense, I try to do it. You can do it at a studio or with a video. Both work for me. 

• Taking walks in nature is also a great way to release the stress and over-analysis. Focus on beauty of the trees and the fresh air.

I think the hardest thing is breaking old habits, but it can be done as you become aware of them. For instance, I have spent a lot of time DIYing in the last few years as I love being creative. However, I also write, which is creative and more in line with my goals. So, I am in the process of de-cluttering my fabric stash and kitchen gadgets.

I also like looking at blogs and collecting pictures on minimalist interiors and fashion because I am intruiged by the idea of creating an effect with less. However, this is not in line with my goals. I also like to research music, bands and artists, and figuring out their influences and genre, but I can get carried away with spending too many hours analyzing this as well. So, I try not to do this at all or to no more than three hours a week. It has not been easy at first, but I find that turning off the computer is key for me.

I also love the History Channel, National Geographic and the Travel Channel, but I now limit myself to just a few shows, rather than keeping the TV running most of the day.

Your challenges and activities will be different, but you must figure out where you are spending your time, and what is worthy of your mental energy. While we INTJs think everything can benefit from analysis, it does not always translate into success and self-esteem. So, we need structure and limitations on what we analyze as we will naturally analyze every thought and thing that crosses our path.

Most of all, remember that although as INTJs we may believe otherwise, in reality, it is impossible to be perfect in everything you do. This is something that I have had to come to terms with. So, since INTJs can't help but wanting to do things perfectly, cutting down your activities or the things that you are focusing on allows you to try to dedicate your time to doing a few things extremely well. 

As I give you this advice, I am also employing these tactics myself, so I know it is not easy to change habits or to cut out things that you enjoy, but all things that are worth it take time and effort. I will share more tips on my blog about this, so please stay tuned. Also, let me know your progress and any tips that you may have as well. 

Would you be happy without friends or possessions?

If you had no friends, no possessions or were isolated from these things for a period of time, would you still be happy?

I think that at the heart of unhappiness is unhappiness with the self.  Granted that we human are social beings, and we are phsyical beings, so we do need some social interaction and also the necessities of life, such as food, clothing and shelter. I think the things beyond the necessities of life bring us joy, such as art, music, books, and even lovely things. However, no matter how many friends we have and objects we may possess, without a healthy contentment in who we are as people, we cannot fully enjoy these things.

There are times when I have gone through periods of stress or depression, and I have purchased items, but I always knew that I am just procrastinating on facing my discomfort or discontent in a situation. Sometimes, I found that just as looking at nature's beauty brings me peace, the beauty of these objects brought me some joy. However, unlike the awe that nature inspires in me and the lessons that it teaches me, these objects soon loose their utility even in their beauty when I am struck with the reality of an apartment running out of space, money wasted or time having to care for these items. This is why I keep coming back to voluntary simplicity, and intend to stay there consistently from hereon.

However, de-cluttering or simplifying is not the entire solution to finding peace, purpose and bliss. I have seen and read a lot of films and surveys on happiness, and they often conclude that many people who have less than others are actually happier because they have a support network and a large group of friends and family. I meet people often, and I am not shy, but because I am an introvert and an HSP, I prefer to keep a small, but amazing group of friends and family. I enjoy time with them a great deal, and there is a mutual exchange of care and value,  but a part of me is well aware that I cannot rely on them for happiness or peace. In fact, after a week or several days of spending a lot of time with people, I often feel a little disconcerted and as if I need to find my center. I know that it is partly due to me being an introvert and HSP, but I also feel it is due to an existential awareness that happiness is deeper than people or things.

Happiness is not even in achievement as I know that I achieved a lot academically in my early years, but a few setbacks derailed me and made me loose confidence in my self worth as I associated it with success. I made a lot more money at my previous job than I do now, but I was still unhappy because I was not challenged and stimulated nor pursuing something creative or that I was passionate about.

From the few and wonderful moemnts and periods of bliss that I have experienced in my life, I would say that true happiness is when we are living in the moment and appreciating the moment - the good, the bad, the dark, the light - all that is around us, and when we are doing that thing that sets us afire, that comes naturally and that inspires us and is what I may dare say, we are put on this world to do. It is elusive staying in the moment or finding that thing that makes us come alive, but once you have a glimpse of it, that is what we must remind ourselves of. So, while I enjoy my family, friends and possessions, I am also had periods when I feel disconnected from others and/or disoriented with the things I own or where I am success-wise in life. These moments of inner turmoil and despair have been my teachers and reminders that I must try and keep aware of that elusive peace of the present and that driving power because nothing else has given me such pure and true peace.

INTJs Love A Challenge, but Not for Ego

A lot of people confuse INTJs as being unemotionally competitive. However, their debates and actions are based on principles of exploring different sides of issues based on logic, rather than ego. I am a true INTJ as over the course of the last 10 years, I have taken several versions of the Jungian Myers Briggs Personality Test, of which I find the humanmetrics.com one the most thorough and  accurate, literally more than 50 times. I think people are perplexed because I am a very thoughtful and caring person with those I love, and I am polite with most people, unless crossed, as I believe you should treat others as you would like to be treated. I am not rude or unnecessarily blunt to people as some think INTJs to be. However, I do get annoyed greatly and can be very intense when I see people being illogical, rude or selfish. I am competitive, but not with friends or family. I do compete at work and in school, but it is not with other people, but rather it is myself with whom I compete. What I mean by this is that I have very high standards for myself and am a perfectionist, not because I think I am better than others in the least, but because I am hard on myself when I am not giving my best.

It is hard to explain to non-NTs (ENTJs are similar in their high standards as well) because they think that I or other INTJs are just being argumentative or stubborn. It is absolutely nothing personal, but INTJs just have a hard time letting go of issues that are not thoroughly thought out. There are times when I will hold myself back and will refrain from discussing issues as I do not want to disrupt the harmony of a moment, but in my mind, I turn the issues over and over again in my head sometimes even for days after. I have been told that I am complex and intense. This is not always said in flattery as sometimes people have told me that I think too much and need to let things go. However, this is who I have been since I was a child of 3 or 4 (my earliest memory), and I accept myself as I am and frankly, after much self reflection and self criticism in my life, I like who I am. Still, I do not want to inconvenience others or make them uncomfortable. Now, there are INTJs who may be more egotistical about proving their point, but that is probably due to another issues that they may have, such as insecurity, narcissism or bi-polar disorder. Most INTJs that I have met are just very cerebral, intense and misunderstood. So, next time someone seems intense and argumentative, as long as they are not criticizing or putting down others, reflect on them, and think whether they may be an INTJ. Under that cerebral cloak, we are actually very ethical and fair people. Make your case logically, and we are also very open-minded.

Please comment on your experiences with INTJs or whether you relate to this if you are an INTJ.