INTP vs INTJ

I found this great article on why these types are often mistaken for each other. I will write my own article about this in the future, but wanted to share this particular article because as someone who is often mistyped, it helped me understand why that is, and it may help others.

s it INTJ or INTP?
Sometimes the MBTI code’s judging/perceiving (J/P) dichotomy is extremely difficult to nail down—showing a low preference clarity on the report and proving elusive to verify. INTJ vs. INTP seems especially problematic.Why is J/P so difficult? Do you have any tips for verification?

Editors’ Note:
This question came up a couple of times recently; and though we have some thoughts about the issue (see below), we both sometimes still struggle with helping clients crack the J/P dimension of their code. We would love to hear more ideas, theories, and tips from readers.

Shumate, ENFP: Sometimes an INTJ may resemble an INTP or vice versa because the individual’s Critical Parent function (6^th) has “hijacked” the Good Parent function (2^nd or auxiliary), to use Bob McAlpine’s phrase. I have noticed that my own Critical Parent (Witch/Senex) archetype can be very loud, and this may enable it to drown out the auxiliary; at least this is my understanding of John Beebe‘s model (but he has not vetted this statement). I believe this can happen to any personality type when stressed.

When this happens to an INTJ, his auxiliary extraverted thinking (Te) Good Parent might be suppressed by his introverted thinking (Ti) Critical Parent. Then it may look as if he is using both Ni and Ti and so one might think he’s an INTP because the Ti Critical Parent seems so prominent. Ti in any position is a kind of hair-splitting function, defining and refining for ever more precision, and when it falls in the 6^th position can express as harsh criticism. In this case, the INTJ can appear exasperatingly nit-picky.

 
Similarly, for an INTP, if the Critical Parent archetype suppresses her auxiliary Good Parent function (Ne), her Ni (6^th) might overpower her Ne (2^nd), and she may appear to be using both Ti and Ni. Ni is the ‘knowing’ function, the process that intuits the answer without having data for it, and when it appears in the Critical Parent position, it could make the INTP seem arrogantly obstinate about her position.

How can we help validate a person’s type if this confusion occurs during the feedback process or on the Indicator? One way that I use is to ask the person about early childhood messages from authority. What was he criticized for? What did her parents or teachers lay down the law about? What does he or she criticize self and others for? If the answer is, “I criticize myself for not knowing enough,” or “I criticize others their failure to see the future,” that sounds like introverted intuition in the Critical Parent position, so it’s a clue that INTP maybe be the best fit. If the answer is, “I criticize others for not being precise enough,” or “I criticize others for not finishing their homework, not having fully considered the subject,” that suggests a Ti Critical Parent and therefore an INTJ type code.

This does not mean that we are doomed to use our Critical Parent function (opposite attitude to our auxiliary) in a negative way. In fact, as I understand it, we can try to use our mental processes in a way that, according to Bob McAlpine, “might allow us to manage the emotional charge.” 

It does appear that we all start out life with a tendency to use the 6^th function defensively, and often with a negative charge.
Hunziker, INTJ: A primary characteristic of the unconscious is that it comes across as a confusing jumble—like different voices singing different songs simultaneously, each indistinguishable from the others. In terms of psychological type, personal growth is a matter of “differentiating” these individual cognitive functions from the ‘background noise’ of the other unconscious ways of thinking and operating, thus bringing them into consciousness as we learn to notice them, ‘hear’ them, respect them, intentionally engage them, and become comfortable with them. Perhaps the most difficult challenge in differentiation is distinguishing a function-attitude from the function in the opposite attitude, because they obviously resemble each other in many ways.

As we develop our basic dominant and auxiliary type toolkit, usually at an early age, we are also developing their opposite-attitude ‘cousins’ to a lesser degree. A mushroom hunter must not only become familiar with the look of the edible mushrooms he uses, but also of the similar-looking toxic ones that he doesn’t, in order to tell them apart. Similarly, we must develop both extraverted thinking (Te) and introverted thinking (Ti), for example, up to the point where we are able to see the difference and determine which one works best for us—our natural preference. So an INTJ with auxiliary Te will also have some ability to engage her Ti sixth function. Most will have a well-developed, well differentiated auxiliary Te. But some INTJs appear to develop both Te and Ti without ever really separating the two. This may lead to a ‘muddy,’ not very effective, concurrent use of the function in both attitudes. This tandem early development of the opposite-attitude cousins or our preferred functions seems a likely source for the problem of J/P confusion. The type professional who is skilled at distinguishing each of the eight cognitive functions from its opposite-attitude counterpart brings a powerful tool to the type verification process.

But beyond that, the ‘ultimate weapon’ for type verification is an understanding of the different kinds of energies that are characteristic of each position in typology’s sequence of function-attitudes. Each of the positions carries a characteristic role and a corresponding ‘energy’ in our lives. Our dominant mental process (called the “Hero” or “Heroine” in John Beebe’s archetypal model) is characterized by an energy of default leadership. It is our go-to first approach to tackling everything that life throws at us and our area of greatest strength and pride (Beebe’s descriptive terms are italicized). The same function in the opposite attitude is fifth in our sequence of preferences, and carries a more negative, rigid and avoidant, push-back sort of energy. It feels like a part of us that believes it could do a better job of running things; an area of opposition and challenge—the “Opposing Personality.”

It is primarily by engaging our auxiliary function-attitude that we take care of others. This is the nurturing, supportive “Good Parent,” in service to the overall personality, an area of fostering and protecting. The same function in the opposite attitude is our sixth function and plays a “Critical Parent” role—hypercritical and limit-setting, it wants to control our creative and playful impulses through intimidation.

When working to verify a possible INTJ or INTP type, acquaint the individual with the characteristics of extraverted intuiting (Ne), introverted intuiting (Ni), extraverted thinking (Te), and introverted thinking (Ti). Then ask them about the emotional context when they engage these functions. Is it heroic and comfortable? –Oppositional? –Supportive? –Critical? It is usually only necessary to get a handle on one of these ‘energy signatures’ in order to tease-out the true type. And with some practice it becomes not only the most effective and reliable approach to verification, but many find it to be the easiest.

INTP and INTJ. Multiple Results and Cognitive Functions

The personality quizzes can be a bit vague, so I have taken about 10 different ones to gauge my type, which was either always INTP or INTJ. However, to really gauge your type, you must undestand your cognitive functions as the descriptions can be a bit broad or too extreme. I believe that the discrepancy is in the quizzes themselves as some put more emphasis on behavior, while others put more emphasis on thinking. I am still trying to figure out for sure which type I am because my thinking and behavior shows traits from both types.

Overall, I think my thinking is often INTJ, while my behavior is INTP.

Here are the first of my cognitive results that indicate INTP. I'll post the conflicting results of when I get INTJ shortly. What are your thoughts about this disconnect and variance of results?

 

I have a lot of J functions as well as P functions. Perhaps, based on our moods and stage in life, we can gravitate between two personality types. Many experts will say that the INTJs and INTPs process the world and thoughts very differently, and are therefore are indeed different. However, I don't agree that these types are drastically different, but rather have many similairites.

Knowing your true type consists of not only taking multiple tests, especially cognitive functions test, which tend to be less vague than general MBTI Jungian tests, but also reading the description, and being honest about how you actually are naturally, rather than how you want to be. I notice in myself that my lack of time management is indeed a problem in my professional and financial life. It was easier when I was younger and had less responsibilities, but now, I have trouble with it. So, I am trying to become more efficient with my time. I am ambitious, but my time management issues become my obstacle, so I am working on that. Due to this, I sometimes type as INTJ because the qualities of being organized and decisive is more INTJ.  We certainly can learn from other types and should seek to strengten our weakness to reach a healthy place. However, I have learned to not mistake these acquired skills from your natural propensities.

Here is a few cognitive functions quizzes that are quite good. While I get mixed results with regular MBTI quizzes, I find cognitive skills tests are more accurate. I find the third quiz least accurate of the three, especially because of it's secondary guess of my type. This is because while I employ social skills easily, I am definitely not an E (extrovert), but am rather a moderate to strong introvert. I am polite and friendly due to my experience and upbringing, and like to learn about cultures and discuss intellectual topics with others, but I prefer to be alone 80% of the time.

Please tell me your accuracy of results after taking the quizzes.

http://www.keys2cognition.com/
http://similarminds.com/classic_jung.html
http://cognitivequiz.com/

INTJs and Social Relationships - Advice

As an INTJ, I'm a natural cynic and can be judgmental at times, but I'm trying to become more tolerant because if people would dismiss me for my faults (yes, we INTJs admit on rare occasions that we have faults), then I would not like it.  Logically, it is impossible for anyone, even ourselves to be perfect, although INTJs strive very hard for this ideal.  However, I have learned that while you can do your best to perfect an idea, a theory or a project, it is impossible to ask this of fallible humans. Instead, it is better to draw back and examine when we are overtly critical and dismiss people, as I have done in the past. We must be thankful to those who accept and love us in our lives, and offer the same acceptance and love to them back in return. When you get annoyed or angry about the illogical behaviors of people in your life, try to look at the whole nature and history of actions of the person.  Often, people are not aware of their behaviors. I have tried as many INTJs I'm sure have tried also, to advise people or even uttered sarcastic comments in the hope that they will change for the better, but no one including ourselves changes unless they come to an awareness within and their own desire to change.

Personal relationships are my weakest skill as is the case for many INTJs, not because I am not capable or adept at being social as I can be when I want, and I understand social dynamics, but I prefer not to be social. I enjoy activities done in my own company than those done in the company of others, such as reading, researching, writing, even sewing. However, I have let friendships go because I go months even years not fostering them. So, now, I make more oc an effort to sustain them. To grow and be the best person that you can be, you must not only emphasize your strengths, but also work on your weaknesses. To offer a metaphor, if there is a just a small air bubble in a sheet of ice, it will eventually affect the foundation and strength of the entire form. I still find that friendships require more time than I feel comfortable giving. For instance, I feel overwhelmed and a little uncentered when I hang out more than once a week as I need most of my time to be alone in my own pursuits, such as my job, education, family obligations and interests. Since my friends are of different groups, I often see each close friend once a month now, and less close friends 2 to 4 times a year. It seems very little to the average person, but it's what I'm comfortable with, and I've grown tired of forcing myself to overextend myself as I did in the past. My true friends are very accepting and understanding, and I am so thankful that they understand that seeing them only once a month doesn't mean the intensity of my care for them is diminished. There have been done friends who have been more needy and demanding, and I tend to see them less as it's draining. You should be compassionate to friends when they are ill or they are going through crisis, but I find that many people get needy and expect their friends to be counselors for everything. Feedback is necessary for all, whether it is trying to determine your career path or a decision about a relationship, but continual dependence on others for happiness, emotional peace, to vent stress or for advice on the same issue time after time is not conducive to one's growth or the well being of the person it is being asked of.

INTJ Description & Self Confidence/Growth

Many people do not understand INTJs to the point that they may feel alienated and alone. Most of the time INTJs enjoy being alone, but they also don't want to be completely misunderstood. Humans as well as many species in nature don't want to be alone all of the time as there is a need for others for survival. They feel alienated when the few people in their life that they let in do not understand them. This can lead them to doubt their own self and self worth. It is therefore pertinent that INTJs understand themselves, and come to terms that many people will not understand them, but as long as they understand themselves and others accept them and don't ask them to change their core personality and functions too much that it is all right. No one should ask you to change who you are unless you are directly and purposely harming them or yourself.

I have made the mistake of trying to change myself for others, such as forcing myself to be more extroverted and take on more social interactions and activities than I really feel comfortable with and even taking on the role of counselor too much. Being social and a counselor, although I do care about people, is just not me. So, in the end, I pleased others when I did this, but felt drained myself.

Below is a INTJ descriptions that takes into account the strengths and nuances of INTJs and offers some advice on building self acceptance and self confidence.  I will also post more about this issue in the future.

INTJ

Visionaries - ‘Time is of the essence.’

INTJs are self-assured analytical types with a great need to innovate to achieve their goals. They are usually very original, creative thinkers who need to feel and appear competent.

INTJs’ particular intellectual style comes from the interaction of their preferences for intuition and thinking. They are usually very gifted at seeing the big picture. They often talk about “mapping” things out in their head and seeing how things fit together. This makes them naturally drawn to systems-thinking or any type of thinking which requires facility with connection, abstraction and complexity. They are able to use these skills in the kind of careers which often attract them – architecture, law, and management. Many scientists and engineers have a preference for INTJ.

INTJs often appear to others first and foremost as thinking types. This is because thinking in all its forms – from critiquing to prioritising – is what INTJs most readily do when engaged with others. But at heart, they are primarily ideas people. It is when they spend time reflecting that INTJs find connections, operate on hunches, theorise and cultivate their vision. Unlike their outer life which is usually fairly structured and controlled, an INTJ’s inner life can sometimes seem a pretty chaotic maelstrom of possibilities and ideas. 

Of all the types, INTJs are most motivated by “vision”. They  have a great need to come up with a unifying idea of a future, improved state which is then their job to realise. This inner vision can be so strong for INTJs and so individual that they are often reckoned to be the most independent-minded of all the types. In other words, they will sometimes cling stubbornly to what they “know” to be true and they will refuse to listen to others.

INTJs have a great need to be purposeful. They need to feel they are continually achieving, moving towards their vision or improving their mastery or competence in some way. Time is truly “of the essence” for INTJs.

This often means that INTJs come across to others as potentially impatient and time-pressured. Of all the introvert types, INTJs reguarly communicate in ways which can make them appear like extraverts rather than introverts. For example, they tend to speak quickly and forcefully, putting a great deal of energy into their communications. 

Their true introverted nature, however, can be seen in their need for privacy. To feel sane, INTJs must spend quality time alone. This may mean time for solitary pursuits or it may mean time for reading and writing. Like all NT types, they dislike social chit chat. If they are going to expend energy conversing they usually want it to be more puposeful than that. This means that INTJs can be difficult to really get to know. 

Competence is an important issue for INTJs. They have a need to feel they are able to do everything very well and to appear competent to others. Many will say they will just not tackle jobs if they think they will not be very good at them. On the other hand, they can get bored easily and need to feel challenged. 

As TJs they find it easy to keep their focus on being organised but like all NJ types their lack of attention to practical detail can mean their organisation falls apart slightly at the seams. They could misread their diary, for example, or pick up the wrong documents.

However, of all the N types, INTJs can sometimes be very good on detail if it is related in some way to the attainment of their bigger goal or if they feel their competence may be at stake in some way. Proof-reading documents, is a case in point. In these instances, they will go all out to ensure there are no mistakes. 

The research on type preferences in the UK suggest that only 1.4% of the population have a preference for INTJ and that it is the least common type. It is not surprising then that most INTJs say that they are aware of being “different” from most of the people they meet. 

Relationships, other than family and a few close personal friends, don’t usually matter greatly to INTJs yet they are often conscious of wanting to serve people in some way. Indeed many an INTJ’s vision is ultimately designed to make life better in some way for people. 

But relationships with others can present a difficulty for INTJs. They know they cannot achieve their vision alone and they can drive others towards the same exacting standards of competence and commitment that they use for themselves. This can cause resentment, particularly if the INTJ has not learned to openly appreciate others and thank them for their efforts. Female INTJs often learn this lesson more readily than male INTJs. 

Ultimately it is important for INTJs to keep their intuition within useful bounds. They must come to see that their inner vision is not always right. It can be overly abstract and impractical and not take adequate account of human feelings, frailties and values. They can become more effective if they learn to use their own thinking skills to critique their vision more and by soliciting and paying attention to other people’s views.

INTJ overview

Words to describe INTJs

reflective         global independent

determined innovative original

quick focused         objective

theoretical logical   structured

analytical         critical private 

Careers attractive to INTJs

Management positions of all kinds, particularly senior management. Architecture, law, engineering, science, social science, research, management consultancy, computing. 

Needs at work

• The opportunity to have a “vision”.

• To feel challenged and display their mastery..

• Privacy and time for reflection.

• May need encouragement to consider others’ views more.

Anticipated work/team strengths

• Having a strong vision for what the organisation could be like.

• Coming up with new ways of looking at problems.

• Finding logical flaws in other people’s thinking. 

• Seeing the big picture and the movement of trends. 

• Having the courage of their convictions and not being side tracked easily.   

Potential problem areas

• May come up with a vision or ideas which are not practical enough.

• May stubbornly refuse to listen to others’ views.

• May not take adequate account of people’s feelings and needs and subsequently alienate others.  

• May be so critical and confident of their opinions and goals that other types feel intimidated or driven. 

• May be unaware of the impact their style is having on others. 

Likely areas for improvement

• Considering and then factoring in the “human” element” in their decision-making. 

• Deliberately consulting other types and considering their opinions before making decisions.

• Learning to thank and appreciate others for their efforts. 

• Asking others for feedback.

Common relationship Issues for INTJs

INTJs show caring by spending time with people discussing things of interest to them or doing something which stimulates both parties’ interests in some way.

INTJs like others to admire their intellectual abilities and their insights. They also like people to respect their need for privacy and time to reflect. 

INTJ Type Dynamics

Dominant – intuition  – introverted

Auxiliary -  thinking  -  extraverted

Tertiary   -   feeling

Inferior   -    sensing 

source: © Carol Craig | http://www.centreforconfidence.co.uk/type-resources.php?pid=376

The Four Personality Preferences

The Four Preferences are:

Judging and Perceiving
Extraversion and Introversion
Sensing and Intuition
Thinking and Feeling

Extraversion and Introversion

When we talk about "extraversion" and "introversion", we are distinguishing between the two worlds in which all of us live. There is a world inside ourselves, and a world outside ourselves. When we are dealing with the world outside of ourself, we are "extraverting". When we are inside our own minds, we are "introverting". 

We are extraverting when we:

• Talk to other people
• Listen to what someone is saying
• Cook dinner, or make a cup of coffee
• Work on a car

We are introverting when we:

• Read a book
• Think about what we want to say or do
• Are aware of how we feel
• Think through a problem so that we understand it

Within the context of personality typing, the important distinction is which world we live in more often. Do we define our life's direction externally or internally? Which world gives us our energy, and which do we perhaps find draining? 

Sensing and Intuition

The "SN" preference refers to how we gather information. We all need data on which to base our decisions. We gather data through our five senses. Jung contended that there are two distinct ways of perceiving the data that we gather. The "Sensing" preference absorbs data in a literal, concrete fashion. The "Intuitive" preference generates abstract possibilities from information that is gathered. We all use both Sensing and Intuition in our lives, but to different degrees of effectiveness and with different levels of comfort.
We are Sensing when we:

• Taste food
• Notice a stoplight has changed
• Memorize a speech
• Follow steps in a plan

We are Intuitive when we:

• Come up with a new way of doing things
• Think about future implications for a current action
• Perceive underlying meaning in what people say or do
• See the big picture

Within the context of personality typing, the important distinction is which method of gathering information do we trust the most? Do we rely on our five senses and want concrete, practical data to work with? Or do we trust our intuitions without necessarily building upon a solid foundation of facts? 

Thinking and Feeling

When Jung studied human behavior, he noticed that people have the capability to make decisions based on two very different sets of criteria: Thinking and Feeling. When someone makes a decision that is based on logic and reason, they are operating in Thinking mode. When someone makes a decision that is based on their value system, or what they believe to be right, they are operating in Feeling mode. We all use both modes for making decisions, but we put more trust into one mode or the other. A "Thinker" makes decisions in a rational, logical, impartial manner, based on what they believe to be fair and correct by pre-defined rules of behavior. A "Feeler" makes decisions on the individual case, in a subjective manner based on what they believe to be right within their own value systems.
We are making decisions in the Thinking mode when we:

• Research a product via consumer reports, and buy the best one to meet our needs
• Do "The Right Thing", whether or not we like it
• Choose not to buy a blue shirt which we like, because we have two blue shirts
• Establish guidelines to follow for performing tasks

We are making decisions in the Feeling mode when we:

• Decide to buy something because we like it
• Refrain from telling someone something which we feel may upset them
• Decide not to take a job because we don't like the work environment
• Decide to move somewhere to be close to someone we care about

Some decisions are made entirely by Thinking or Feelings processes. Most decisions involve some Thinking and some Feeling. Decisions that we find most difficult are those in which we have conflicts between our Thinking and Feeling sides. In these situations, our dominant preference will take over. Decisions which we find easy to make and feel good about are usually a result of being in sync with both our Feeling and Thinking sides. 

Judging and Perceiving

Judging and Perceiving preferences, within the context of personality types, refers to our attitude towards the external world, and how we live our lives on a day-to-day basis. People with the Judging preference want things to be neat, orderly and established. The Perceiving preference wants things to be flexible and spontaneous. Judgers want things settled, Perceivers want thing open-ended.
We are using Judging when we:

• Make a list of things to do
• Schedule things in advance
• Form and express judgments
• Bring closure to an issue so that we can move on

We are using Perceiving when we:

• Postpone decisions to see what other options are available
• Act spontaneously
• Decide what to do as we do it, rather than forming a plan ahead of time
• Do things at the last minute

We all use both Judging and Perceiving as we live our day-to-day life. Within the context of personality type, the important distinction is which way of life do we lean towards, and are more comfortable with. 

The differences between Judging and Perceiving are probably the most marked differences of all the four preferences. People with strong Judging preferences might have a hard time accepting people with strong Perceiving preferences, and vice-versa. On the other hand, a "mixed" couple (one Perceiving and one Judging) can complement each other very well, if they have developed themselves enough to be able to accept each other's differences. 


source: http://www.personalitypage.com/html/four-prefs.html

Dealing with Criticism (Food for Thought)

Food for Thought - Let Go...

The Benefits of Yoga, esp. for INTJs

I practiced yoga regularly for a few years, and it was one of the most clear periods in my adult life.

Recently, I started practicing yoga again, and while I only do a half an hour every day and meditation for 10 minutes daily I am getting just back into it, I am already seeing a change.  I feel more relaxed mentally and more energy physically.  INTJs can benefit a great deal from yoga as we are always thinking and analyzing, and doing yoga and meditation gives us a chance to clear our head once in a while.  Clearing your head is important because it allows your brain to de-stress and think afresh.

Many studies have shown that meditation and yoga helps the memory, reduces stress and gives you more energy.  A Harvard study even found that yoga helps anxiety and depression.  You don't have to convert to a religion to do it.  You just need to become in tuned with your body, your breath and nature or your other surroundings.

Below are links on a few more reputable studies as I know we INTJs like scientific studies/proof.

http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletters/Harvard_Mental_Health_Letter/2009/April/Yoga-for-anxiety-and-depression

http://psychcentral.com/news/2010/01/12/scientific-basis-for-yoga-benefits/10693.html

http://health.usnews.com/health-news/diet-fitness/fitness/articles/2010/09/24/benefits-of-yoga-how-different-types-affect-health

http://web.mit.edu/newsoffice/2011/meditation-0505.html

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200304/the-benefits-meditation

http://nccam.nih.gov/health/meditation/overview.htm


There are many other studies out there, but I also believe in trying things oneself.  See it as an experiment.  Practice yoga or mediation for a short period once a day for a month, and see how you feel.  You don't need to even go to a yoga studio unless you like the experience of exercising with others. A true INTJ, I like to exercise solo.  I only go to studios if a friend is with me as it is also a bonding experience.  Usually, I put on a Baron Baptiste or Rodney Yee video or even a YouTube video from a certified yoga instructor, and I do yoga at home or even in my hotel room when I travel.

The Experience of Depression

Notes from Understanding Depression by J. Raymond DePaulo Jr. and  Leslie Alan Horvitz 

Chapter 1 - The Experience of Depression

Those with depression often see no way out. Idea that there is light at the end of the tunnel goes on and off until you stop believing it.

Depression can drain the trust that others have in you

• 3 criteria for depression

• • changes in mood, vitality, mental liveliness, self regard and self esteeem; episodic; and tends to run in families

• Hallmark Symptoms of depression 

• • Self Image - Despair, feel worthless and that everyone is bound to find out; the prospect of receivung help may fail to lift your spirits; feel worthless, useless and no prospect for the future; feel drained, inability to focus or concentrate; only able to read words one at a time, but unable to take in a whole paragraph; unable to focus on what others are saying
   
  • Physical vitality - tend to feel fatigued, lack stamina that you used to have to do things; getting started in morning is difficult, and you don't have the energy to do things that would normally be second nature to you; decreased ability to perform tasks that require concentration or mental effort - this inability can transform minor challenges to major crisis, especially at work; feel worse in the early morning hours and better in the evening; 
   
  • Health and weight - overly preoccupied with physical condition that was previously seen as merely an inconvenience; increased symptoms of existing conditions, like migraine; sex drive may disappear and appetite may decrease to weight loss or even increase to weight gain.  Weight gain in more normal in depressive state of bipolar, seasonal depression or those with long standing depression.  1/3 of people see no change in weight.
   
  • Probably able to get through most days, but with difficulty. May take 6 hours to accomplish what you would normally do in 2 or 3; more errors and performance may become inconsistent 
   
  • Sleeping - increases for people with chronic and seasonal depression; those with episodic experience and extreme forms of depression loss of sleep. Typically have fewer problems falling asleep, but staying asleep is harder. Usually wake at 3 or 4 am and find it difficult to fall back asleep.
   
•  
• 
  
  

  Chapter 2 - Feeling Worthless

  
  
  Self criticisms from depression can creep without raising any alarms.

  
  

  The sense of worthlessness can be so pronounced that the most heartfelt reassurances are not heard. 

  
  

  Warped reasoning

  Some feel that friends are secretly angry at them, but won't come out and tell them because they are just being polite. This is why close relations are hard to maintain. One patient felt that his wife's reassurances about loving him were not genuine and that she was insincere or stupid because if she knew how hollow he was, she would not want to stay with him.

  
  

  Other observations of depression

  Loss of muscle tone - causes them look exhausted all the time. 

  Some walk or talk more slowly. May take one to two minutes to answer a question, even that requires a yes or no.

  Stupor - unable to move; so uncertain what to say or do that they could not act. 

  
  

  Depression and Anxiety 

  Depression is often associated and clustered with anxiety.  Severe anxiety can even be seen as a manifest of dpression. Not all people with depression have anxiety, but they are associated, and many of the same neural pathways and brain regions are involved in both. Depressed people can become so fearful (phobic) of scrutiny that they feel that other people are staring at them. Even walking into a room to exchange a few words may overwhelm them. For many people, when the depression lifts, the anxiety does too. However with some, the anxiety remains.

  
  

  Anxiety types - panic attacks, phobias, Obsessive Compulsive symptoms
   
   
   

Food for Thought - Hold On...

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Productivity Blogs for Procrastinators

I am seeking to get more done this year. I have been slow in my progression of my career in the last 5 years as I was trying different industries and soul searching. Now that I have found my way to my calling, I need to beat my nemesis, procrastination due to my perfectionist standards.  Although I am creative, I need a little guidance on where to start (or rather how to return to eons ago) to a path of discipline.

Here is a great list of Productivity Blogs according to zenhabits.net (http://zenhabits.net/the-top-50-productivity-blogs-most-of-which-you-havent-heard-about/):

• Lifehacker
• 43 Folders
• Lifehack.org
• Web Worker Daily
• Get Rich Slowly
• Dumb Little Man
• Steve Pavlina

• Wise Bread Personal Finance Forum
• Zen Habits
• The Simple Dollar
• LifeDev
• David Seah
• What’s the next action
• Getting Things Done
• Scott H Young
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Clutter & Depression

I never used to be one to obsess over possessions, except for my book and music collection, and except for a temporary bout of materialist insanity in an attempt to follow the advice/criticism of a "friend" and fit in to the corporate work force.

The past two years have been difficult, and I have not been maintaining a minimalist lifestyle as I would like due to OCD perfectionism and being at the crossroads of what to do with my life now that I am married and have someone else to consider in the equation.

My recent exit from the legal field and from the corporate enviroment literally gave me my sanity back.  For years, because I switched my double major from English literature and Romance languages to law as it was more practical, and because my only work experience other than an English tutor was as a paralegal, I tried to convince myself that law was right for me.  While I respect law, and found the the cases interesting in college, I gravely disliked working in a law firm.  I hated the lack of cretativity, the billable hours and the ruthless personalities.  Forcing myself to go from job to job in the field, but I knew to change fields would mean being broke again as I would have to pay for grad school and get paid very little after.

So, I convinced myself that I should be a lawyer because I did well in my classes and even scored 168 on the prep test LSAT after just studying on my own for 2 months.  However, when I took the prep-test and saw my score, a lightbulb lit up in my head.  I realize that my depression and not doing much in what I was passionate about for the last 8 years went hand in hand.  I saw that I wanted to see if I could get into law school as my self esteem was at a all time low in terms of my career and education of late.  Once I saw that I could score well, as I believe I could score even higher if I studied longer, I felt a boost of confidence I have not had in a while, and it gave me the strength to soul search and really be brave and pursue my passion, which is literature, which I have continued writing for 20 years and still read even when I was in the legal field.

I also realized that my depression the last two years has led me to accumulate clutter.  I would buy things, but not have the energy or time to make the decision to discard the old items.

I have decided to embark on getting back to my minimalist lifestyle because I thrived in it. I was not an extreme fanatic minimalist with 10 items of clothing, but I was a moderate and balance minimalist, who only kept what I used and what added value to me.  I believe that the clutter has added to my depression and OCD as my moods were more stabilized when I was more minimalist.

I know that people who have maintained a minimalist lifestyle may be judgmental, but it does not deter me.  I know my struggles, and the way I see it is that sometimes when we fall, we learn faster to pick ourselves up and get stronger as a result.  I hope that others who struggle with the same things that I do or who just want to make their lives more simpler will be helped by the blog entries I will be posting in the near future about my journey.

Re-Inspired by a Storm and Isolation

Re-Inspired by a Storm and Isolation

I wrote the draft of this post when the hurricane/super storm Sandy was occurring in New York. The storm made me feel how fragile we humans and our lives are, and I came to a few realizations that I would like to hold on to and share as well.

Below are my thoughts during the storm:


While I don't want people's homes to be flooded, and I have been checking up on my loved ones, I'm actually loving the storm. The wind is howling as you can hear in the above video that I filmed from my window. The trees having been swaying a bit dangerously as the wind is blowing at 90 mph, and the windows are rattling so much that they sound like they could crack. The above video does not demonstrate how extreme it was. I'm keeping the camera quit still. The sky has been dark and dreary all day. No one is outside, and cars rarely pass by. Yet, I honestly love it. I have always enjoyed the rain when I am indoors. I love to see it on the wet leaves on the trees and on the pavement, which is why autumn has always been my favorite season. I know its odd to like storms and dreary weather, but it is quite peaceful, it mirrors my mood at times, and it reminds me that I'm human and how fragile, yet precious is life.

I haven't been quite productive, but I've enjoyed this lazy day of watching missed re-runs of The Vampire Diaries and True Blood.

I do hope to get some housework done after one more episode as I just returned from a trip from San Antonio with my husband. Ironically, we left sunny weather, with the temperatures at approximately 88 degrees. My husband had a work assignment, and it was the first time I had ever left my home or New York for more than a week and a half. I was there for 3 weeks, and it was so freeing being away from all the clutter in my apartment. As I mentioned in some of my recent posts, I've been trying to Ho back to a minimalist lifestyle because I find that whenever I have more than I need and use, I get very unfocused, and it brings on bouts of moderate depression. However, I have been struggling with letting things go because I am only working 8 - 10 hours a week now, and I felt like I was wasting and loosing money by donating or discarding my items.

However, this trip was quite an eye opener on how badly my possessions were draining my energy. Since my husband was working, we only went out on weekends. During the week, I was so focused and my mind more free that I've been for years now that I was able to get some work and reading done. Usually, I am so immobilized by all my possessions that I just surf the web or watch videos because I can focus due to the visual distraction of things that need to be organized and cleaned. Now, I'm not a hoarder as you see on A&E, but I do tend to compulsively shop when I am in a down mood. I have moderate OCD, and am a very visual person, so a cluttered house drives me nuts, but with so many things brought in by my shopping, I can't think, and feel overwhelmed with where to start decluttering. This habit started slowly in a few years ago, bug got very bad. I've gone from moving out with a large duffle bag and books, then moving from my second apartment in 2008 with just 3 suitcases comprising of all my possessions (clothing, books, shoes, bags) to 4 three by two feet closets of clothing hanging in those closets, 1 closet of shoes and bags, and 1 bin of fabric and trim. My books are contained to just a very small bookshelf because I mostly purchase eBooks now. In 2009, I only had 113 items of clothing. So, in three years my OCD and depression has made me hit rock bottom. I saw a therapist, but she did psychoanalysis, which was not helpful because I already knew my issue was depression and mild OCD. I am still looking for a cognitive behavioral therapist. When I was away Fromm home for ten three weeks, I did have some obsessive thoughts and some dark moments but I was able to deal with it by self talk and by doing my work, do they passed. However, when I'm home I'm in such an overwhelmed state that I don't have the energy to employ coping strategies.

So, I've decided to not even think about my possessions and whether I need it in the far future, I've decided only to keep only items I wore this year or that I intend to wear in the next 3 winter months. For instance, I wear mostly black, but I have quite a number of red tops, skirts and dresses just because color red is my favorite color in addition to black. I'm putting these in the donation bag without a thought of future use.

The past is the past, and we cannot hold on to it or the money or opportunities list. Nor can we plan for the future in detail, but rather just to a vague extent. My trip gave me the impetus to go back to a mknslist lifestyle. I will post more on my progress, and I hope that it helps you as well. Anyone with OCD, depression or who is a minimalist who has advice if comments to share, I welcome and appreciate them.

Thanks for reading.