Holiday Parties & Socializing - INTJ / HSP perspective

I enjoy meeting new people and learning about their backgrounds and lives. What I do not like is having to talk to a lot of people at a party and schmooze with almost everyone. Sadly, that is what a lot of holiday parties are about the in business, corporate or any office type job.

I went to a holiday party on Monday, and while in the past, I would force myself to schmooze at any party, be it personal or for a job, this time, I just stayed low key. The reason I did this is because I understand and accept that while I have good social skills, and enjoy socializing in small groups, especially with people I know, and can do it when necessary, I don't particularly like socializing in itself. The small talk generally bores me and makes me feel drained the next day or that very night. On Tuesday, I felt a bit drained after the party, and this confirms what I have known and began to accept for almost two years now - I am a highly sensitive person. Before, I used to think that I felt overwhelmed because I was introverted and forced myself to speak to too many people in a group. However, this time, I spoke to only my three family members and said a few sentences to 2 people I knew from previously, and yet I was still exhausted and a little frazzled the next day.

For those who can identify with this experience, please read The Introvert Advantage by Marti Olsen Lacey, Psy. D and The Highly Sensitive Person by Dr. Elaine Aaron. These two books really changed my life, by helping me understand and accept myself and make the most of my qualities. I found that I needed to read both because although I am more introverted than extroverted, I am not to the far left of the introversion spectrum. This is because I do enjoy meeting and talking to people and going out and experiencing life. However, I still get very overwhelmed in groups and being out too much or from doing too much, which is due to my high sensitivity. You will find after reading these two books which applies more to you.

I will be posting some lessons I learned from these two books soon.