As an INTJ, I'm a natural cynic and can be judgmental at times, but I'm trying to become more tolerant because if people would dismiss me for my faults (yes, we INTJs admit on rare occasions that we have faults), then I would not like it. Logically, it is impossible for anyone, even ourselves to be perfect, although INTJs strive very hard for this ideal. However, I have learned that while you can do your best to perfect an idea, a theory or a project, it is impossible to ask this of fallible humans. Instead, it is better to draw back and examine when we are overtly critical and dismiss people, as I have done in the past. We must be thankful to those who accept and love us in our lives, and offer the same acceptance and love to them back in return. When you get annoyed or angry about the illogical behaviors of people in your life, try to look at the whole nature and history of actions of the person. Often, people are not aware of their behaviors. I have tried as many INTJs I'm sure have tried also, to advise people or even uttered sarcastic comments in the hope that they will change for the better, but no one including ourselves changes unless they come to an awareness within and their own desire to change.
Personal relationships are my weakest skill as is the case for many INTJs, not because I am not capable or adept at being social as I can be when I want, and I understand social dynamics, but I prefer not to be social. I enjoy activities done in my own company than those done in the company of others, such as reading, researching, writing, even sewing. However, I have let friendships go because I go months even years not fostering them. So, now, I make more oc an effort to sustain them. To grow and be the best person that you can be, you must not only emphasize your strengths, but also work on your weaknesses. To offer a metaphor, if there is a just a small air bubble in a sheet of ice, it will eventually affect the foundation and strength of the entire form. I still find that friendships require more time than I feel comfortable giving. For instance, I feel overwhelmed and a little uncentered when I hang out more than once a week as I need most of my time to be alone in my own pursuits, such as my job, education, family obligations and interests. Since my friends are of different groups, I often see each close friend once a month now, and less close friends 2 to 4 times a year. It seems very little to the average person, but it's what I'm comfortable with, and I've grown tired of forcing myself to overextend myself as I did in the past. My true friends are very accepting and understanding, and I am so thankful that they understand that seeing them only once a month doesn't mean the intensity of my care for them is diminished. There have been done friends who have been more needy and demanding, and I tend to see them less as it's draining. You should be compassionate to friends when they are ill or they are going through crisis, but I find that many people get needy and expect their friends to be counselors for everything. Feedback is necessary for all, whether it is trying to determine your career path or a decision about a relationship, but continual dependence on others for happiness, emotional peace, to vent stress or for advice on the same issue time after time is not conducive to one's growth or the well being of the person it is being asked of.
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