Thursday, December 13, 2012

INTJs Love A Challenge, but Not for Ego

A lot of people confuse INTJs as being unemotionally competitive. However, their debates and actions are based on principles of exploring different sides of issues based on logic, rather than ego. I am a true INTJ as over the course of the last 10 years, I have taken several versions of the Jungian Myers Briggs Personality Test, of which I find the humanmetrics.com one the most thorough and  accurate, literally more than 50 times. I think people are perplexed because I am a very thoughtful and caring person with those I love, and I am polite with most people, unless crossed, as I believe you should treat others as you would like to be treated. I am not rude or unnecessarily blunt to people as some think INTJs to be. However, I do get annoyed greatly and can be very intense when I see people being illogical, rude or selfish. I am competitive, but not with friends or family. I do compete at work and in school, but it is not with other people, but rather it is myself with whom I compete. What I mean by this is that I have very high standards for myself and am a perfectionist, not because I think I am better than others in the least, but because I am hard on myself when I am not giving my best.

It is hard to explain to non-NTs (ENTJs are similar in their high standards as well) because they think that I or other INTJs are just being argumentative or stubborn. It is absolutely nothing personal, but INTJs just have a hard time letting go of issues that are not thoroughly thought out. There are times when I will hold myself back and will refrain from discussing issues as I do not want to disrupt the harmony of a moment, but in my mind, I turn the issues over and over again in my head sometimes even for days after. I have been told that I am complex and intense. This is not always said in flattery as sometimes people have told me that I think too much and need to let things go. However, this is who I have been since I was a child of 3 or 4 (my earliest memory), and I accept myself as I am and frankly, after much self reflection and self criticism in my life, I like who I am. Still, I do not want to inconvenience others or make them uncomfortable. Now, there are INTJs who may be more egotistical about proving their point, but that is probably due to another issues that they may have, such as insecurity, narcissism or bi-polar disorder. Most INTJs that I have met are just very cerebral, intense and misunderstood. So, next time someone seems intense and argumentative, as long as they are not criticizing or putting down others, reflect on them, and think whether they may be an INTJ. Under that cerebral cloak, we are actually very ethical and fair people. Make your case logically, and we are also very open-minded.

Please comment on your experiences with INTJs or whether you relate to this if you are an INTJ.

2 comments:

  1. Well... I know it feels good trying to keep with our high standards (sometimes excessive that we hardly achieve them).

    But speaking about ego, I think I'm experiencing what people refer as ego diffusion...

    People say that INTJ take thorough and consider multiple aspects before making their decision. And I think I take too much of them...

    It's like I'm overwhelming with tons of perspective from different sources & aspects. I, then conclude that everything is just relative; there is nothing absolute.

    That kind of thought leads me to horrible performance of my life, and suddenly I feel like I don't have any worthy goal... I lost my will to achieve my own standards.


    I know it's freaking pathetic & useless thought, but I just can't get rid of it. It's been 2-3 years and I'm still drowning into such subconscious thoughts.

    Do you have any suggestion about how I can kill or control of this? Seriously, I really want to stop thinking, stop analyzing things, stop planning, then enjoy and live my life...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi vcathie,

    I saw your comment to the post I created in response to your questions, but it does not display due to a glitch in the blog software.

    I am glad that the tips helped you a bit. Remember not to be too hard on yourself as we INTJs often are when we don't meet our own, unreachable standards of perfection. Do share your progress and any other questions you may have.

    ReplyDelete